Kate had a lot of plans. She’s a marketing professional and wished to have kids and a vacation home at Hawaii with her husband. But five years ago, when her husband announced that he wanted a divorce, all her dreams shattered. She needed to pull herself up. Making new friends and going to therapy was part of the solution. But love was missing. She could never get back to dating or interacting with men romantically. She was irritated and nobody seemed good enough. Her ex was still on her mind.
To recover, one needs a change
That’s when on a friend’s advice, she started writing about her issues and giving advice on a forum. Things began to look up. She has become more open about dating and men and she’s moving towards a healthier state of mind. Kate’s story can be an inspiration to many of you. Here I’m presenting you with certain tips. If you are devastated after a separation, try to encourage yourself to follow these – it’ll help you cope a lot better.
A break-up or a divorce can be a huge tragedy. But here’s the thing:you don’t have to deal with it alone. As Kate did above, try to reach out for help. Professional support is amazing and you need to seek it at this moment to get you going with your life.
A burst of positivity
Positive vibes are needed the most during this period. Surround yourself with positivity. If you have friends complaining all the time about dating or rejections, it’s time for you to get into a more positive circle. After all, it’s true that you are defined by the five people you spend the most time with. That’s the amount of impact they have on your live.
Get working on your best self
I know how difficult break-ups can be. If we leave out the terrible disappointment, sometimes we internalize the pain and think of ourselves as damaged. Don’t ever think like that. Break-ups are far more common that you think – over 99% of people go through it. Divorces are also very common. Don’t make it about yourself – there’s nothing wrong with you. Separations can happen for a lot of reasons and you are not one of them.
Go for something new
Do you have a pending bucket list? A trip to Africa or perhaps getting a new dog? This is the time for you to get startedon your dreams and do whatever you want. Engage in something completely new.
Start dating without expectations
Dating can be fun if you don’t always expect to find the one. Start dating without looking for a stable partner. Experiment – don’t go for your type. Look at different people and make your purpose clear. It’s only when you experiment and get to know different types of people that you can understand who suits you better.
Comparisons suck for everybody. Don’t compare any person with your ex – they cannot be the same, they are as unique as you are. Comparisons just make you go on a downward spiral.
When you are looking for someone, always have an intent. Something along the lines of “I want a stable and supportive person for the long term”. Never divert from your intent.
Breakups and divorce are hard but we have to pick ourselves up. And trust me, you have the strength to do so. So, go out there and be your best. You can do it.